I Was Getting Everything Done, Yet It Still Didn’t Feel Like Enough
A reflection on pace, expectations, and the stories we tell ourselves about both
During the past couple of days, I have felt quite overwhelmed.
Nothing had gone particularly wrong. It just felt like there was a lot to do. It was like I was moving from one thing to the next without much space in between. By the end of it, I felt as though I had spent two full days working without really getting anywhere.
I mentioned this to a colleague, who said they thought I was getting everything done that needed to be done, and doing so within a reasonable timeframe. It occurred to me that they had a point. Things were moving. Work was being completed. I hadn’t missed anything. Yet, that was not how I felt.
Reflecting later, I realised that I wasn’t measuring what was actually getting done. I was measuring how quickly things were being done, against how quickly I thought they should be done. And by this measure, I was falling short. But no one was asking me to go faster except me.
There was a standard in the background that I had not really questioned. I held a view of the pace I should be able to keep. To me, this felt reasonable, and as though I was holding myself to account. However, I had not noticed how much it was shaping how I experienced those days.
And the thing is, our standards change the story. The same set of actions can feel insufficient or enough, depending on the standard we are using.
What struck me was that nothing external needed to change for the pressure to ease. My task list itself was not the issue. Rather, my own expectations required examination, and maybe even change.
This made me wonder how often our standards bring us unstuck. How often does the weight we feel come from the standards we are carrying, rather than the external factors we attribute it to? For whose sake are we holding these standards? How are they serving us in any given moment?
When our standards are misaligned with reality, even a full and productive day can feel like it is not enough.
From the outside, those two days were fine. It was only from within my own expectations that they felt like a failure. The question I found myself answering was whether I really was a failure, or whether my standards needed adjusting.
That’s when I realised that I have some control over the overwhelm I feel.
I write to understand what it means to be human in a messy, chaotic world. If this piece resonated with you in some way, you’re always welcome to subscribe to The Being Space.
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And if you’d like to sit with these ideas a little longer, my book What if Life Came with a User Guide is available on Amazon.
An excellent subtle topic that we generally miss. Nice job!